Sexual assault affects millions of people around the world – cutting across every boundary of age, gender, race, and background. At Outcry Witness, we hold space for survivors to speak, to be heard, and to begin healing. But survivors should never have to carry the burden of recovery alone. Allies – friends, family, co-workers, partners, and community members – play a vital role in supporting healing and justice.

Being an ally isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about showing up with compassion, humility, and a willingness to listen. Allyship is not a title – it’s a practice. It appears in the quiet moments of listening, in the uncomfortable moments of speaking out, and in the enduring commitment to walk alongside survivors without judgment or agenda. One act of empathy, one moment of courage, one voice that says, “I believe you” – can be a lifeline.

Here’s how you can stand with survivors:

 

1. Listen without judgment

When someone shares their story with you, they are taking a brave and vulnerable step. Believe them. Resist the urge to question their memory, intentions, or choices. Instead, listen actively – without interrupting, doubting, or trying to fix. Survivors need to feel safe, not scrutinised.

A good thing to say:

Thank you for trusting me. I believe you.

 

2. Let them lead the conversation

Survivors cope in different ways, and healing isn’t linear. Some may want to speak openly. Others may not. Let them set the pace. Don’t push for details or encourage actions they’re not ready for – whether it’s reporting, therapy, or confronting someone.

Your role: Offer support, not direction.

 

3. Educate yourself

Read about trauma or consent. Take initiative. Learn about sexual assault dynamics, the effects of trauma, and why survivors might delay disclosure. Understanding helps dismantle harmful myths and fosters empathy.

Start with:

Resources from RAINN, NSVRC, or local crisis centres – a good place to start is here.

Books like The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

Articles from platforms like Outcry Witness

 

4. Respect privacy and boundaries

Survivors deserve control over their own stories. Don’t share what they’ve told you without permission. Don’t assume you know what’s best. Honour their boundaries – emotional, physical, and digital.

Remember: Trust is fragile. Handle it with care.

 

5. Speak up against harm

Being an ally means more than just being there for survivors – it also means challenging a culture that enables abuse. Call out rape jokes. Interrupt victim-blaming. Hold people accountable. Help shift the conversation from silence to solidarity.

Allyship in action looks like:

  • Correcting misinformation
  • Supporting policies that protect survivors
  • Amplifying survivor voices, not overshadowing them

 

6. Support, don’t centre yourself

It’s okay to feel angry or heartbroken. Even guilty, depending on context. But don’t make the survivor’s pain about your reaction. Offer your presence, not your pity. Your focus should be on what they need, not on what you feel.

Instead of: “I can’t believe this happened. I feel so upset.”
Try:

I’m here for you however you need me to be.

7. Take care of yourself too

Supporting someone through trauma can be heavy. It’s okay to seek guidance for yourself – whether through a therapist, support group, or trusted confidant. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and taking care of your own mental health is part of being a sustainable ally.

 

If you would like to create an anonymous record of an incident that happened to you, start below.

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